thoughts.

i have a nice outfit for tonight,
i'm excited.

lately the biggest problem has been my ass.
its hard to wear guys jeans with a huge ass and pass.
even though i don't really know if i want to pass.
i guess i wouldn't be much of a genderfuck at all then.
but genderfuck for me is more about my total disregard for gender.
i think it's completely useless and discriminatory.
and passing for me is more about not being treated like a female (society's stereotypical female)
i want to be judged on character and personality, not my tits.
but in a hetero-normative society my facial features and clothing choice don't match up.
some people are just ignorant.
maybe 2009 will bring about the dawn of a new era, where trans people are treated just like kelly the cheerleader with her gucci bag, uggs and perfectly highlighted straight hair.
then people won't mind when they see me in my steel toe boots, spikey hair, and button down shirt.
yeah right.

happy new year.
don't drive drunk.

booby.

i've really been hating my breasts lately.
with all my weight gain they must be at least a D now.
and the whole two sports bras and 3-sizes-too-small underarmor shirts
do an okay job of holding them down, but it's not the best as far as comfort goes.
and occasionally it's slightly hard to breathe.

i seriously need to start working out again.
i think feeling comfortable about my weight might help be feel a little better about my body.
it would be easier to hide my breasts and ass and curves.
that would be nice.